Today I quit my job of two years. During those two years I was challenged, stretched, and grew as an individual more than I have grown in all of my 29 short years of life. I left, not because I have bigger and better things I want to tackle, no; I left because God has bigger and better things for me to tackle, and not in a materialistic way. Let me tell you, those words sounded strange coming out of my mouth this morning, as I explained to my boss my reason for leaving. But I know they were true.
Over the past several months, when I'd get in my car every morning, I would say to myself, "Megan, what are you doing? This is not where God wants you anymore." I continued to ignore it and it showed in my work. My effort was lacking, my motivation slipping, and my mind racing, wondering, "If not this, then what?" I loved the people I worked with, my boss was fantastic, and the perks I received from working in the corporate world would make any person extremely grateful for such gifts. There was just one thing I was ignoring. My heart.
Paycheck after paycheck rolled in, and still I wasn't satisfied; I knew I wouldn't be until I looked to God for an answer. Through hours of prayer and discernment, I knew it was time for a change. In a world where technology keeps us entertained, money keeps us comfortable, and work keeps us busy, it is hard to always "check in" and see if we are on the paths He has laid out before us, or if we are creating a path of our own. I know now, I was creating my own path, weed whipper in hand, desperately chopping down everything in sight and getting lost in the process. Society will tell you, "If you want it bad enough, all you have to do is work for it." I will tell you otherwise. No matter how badly you want something, if God doesn't want it for you, you will not be satisfied with what you get. You will get moments of satisfaction, but a lasting peace will not remain.
I've always been one who uses faith over reason. This would be what most would call a "crazy person's" way of making decisions. Faith can sometimes cause you to make a decision that seems rash to others, it can make you look impractical, and rather silly. But that is the beauty of it. He knows every sparrow that falls to the ground, and all the hairs on your head, and yet we cannot seem to trust Him enough with our lives. I had trust tucked under my arm like a football and no one was going to make me give it up or fumble it, not even God. The problem was I wasn't making forward progress. Negative yards and terrible defense was it, (like our poor beloved Huskers). Last weekend I finally gave God the football, and said, "Here, you call the plays now." His first play call was, "Blue 42, Blue 42, put in your two weeks notice, hike!" Terrified, I ran the route, and now I'm back in the huddle, shaking in my sneakers, and waiting for what is next.
What is next you ask? I do not know, and when I see you next, I still probably won't have an answer. My spiritual director told me a few days ago, "Sometimes when God shows us glimpses of our future, he shows it like a GPS. But He cannot reveal all the roads we will take, the stops, the turns, the car troubles...because if he did, we would probably run the other direction in complete fear." Ha! I relate. He only shows us our next exit, our next turn, or our very next stop. One detail at a time. We are after all, silly humans, and I know I'd be lying if I said I could handle more than one order at a time.
So here I am, completely trusting, and completely clueless. I write this to encourage you, not to go out and quit your job haha, but to encourage you to listen. In the silence He speaks. You can invest in land, stocks, a home, a new car, a job, or even in people, all of which are good things, but if you invest in silence, it will be the best investment you make on your time here on earth.
Much Love and Many Blessings,
-Signed Unemployed Woman with a Trusting Heart
Over the past several months, when I'd get in my car every morning, I would say to myself, "Megan, what are you doing? This is not where God wants you anymore." I continued to ignore it and it showed in my work. My effort was lacking, my motivation slipping, and my mind racing, wondering, "If not this, then what?" I loved the people I worked with, my boss was fantastic, and the perks I received from working in the corporate world would make any person extremely grateful for such gifts. There was just one thing I was ignoring. My heart.
Paycheck after paycheck rolled in, and still I wasn't satisfied; I knew I wouldn't be until I looked to God for an answer. Through hours of prayer and discernment, I knew it was time for a change. In a world where technology keeps us entertained, money keeps us comfortable, and work keeps us busy, it is hard to always "check in" and see if we are on the paths He has laid out before us, or if we are creating a path of our own. I know now, I was creating my own path, weed whipper in hand, desperately chopping down everything in sight and getting lost in the process. Society will tell you, "If you want it bad enough, all you have to do is work for it." I will tell you otherwise. No matter how badly you want something, if God doesn't want it for you, you will not be satisfied with what you get. You will get moments of satisfaction, but a lasting peace will not remain.
I've always been one who uses faith over reason. This would be what most would call a "crazy person's" way of making decisions. Faith can sometimes cause you to make a decision that seems rash to others, it can make you look impractical, and rather silly. But that is the beauty of it. He knows every sparrow that falls to the ground, and all the hairs on your head, and yet we cannot seem to trust Him enough with our lives. I had trust tucked under my arm like a football and no one was going to make me give it up or fumble it, not even God. The problem was I wasn't making forward progress. Negative yards and terrible defense was it, (like our poor beloved Huskers). Last weekend I finally gave God the football, and said, "Here, you call the plays now." His first play call was, "Blue 42, Blue 42, put in your two weeks notice, hike!" Terrified, I ran the route, and now I'm back in the huddle, shaking in my sneakers, and waiting for what is next.
What is next you ask? I do not know, and when I see you next, I still probably won't have an answer. My spiritual director told me a few days ago, "Sometimes when God shows us glimpses of our future, he shows it like a GPS. But He cannot reveal all the roads we will take, the stops, the turns, the car troubles...because if he did, we would probably run the other direction in complete fear." Ha! I relate. He only shows us our next exit, our next turn, or our very next stop. One detail at a time. We are after all, silly humans, and I know I'd be lying if I said I could handle more than one order at a time.
So here I am, completely trusting, and completely clueless. I write this to encourage you, not to go out and quit your job haha, but to encourage you to listen. In the silence He speaks. You can invest in land, stocks, a home, a new car, a job, or even in people, all of which are good things, but if you invest in silence, it will be the best investment you make on your time here on earth.
Much Love and Many Blessings,
-Signed Unemployed Woman with a Trusting Heart
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